soooo

i thought that was funny
seriously ive been so down today im sick which sucks on top of that my stupid friends are mad at me for beign happy i dont understnad all i want is for everyone to be happy i cant stand people mad at me unless i just plain dont care about them

but i mean i miss my brother and my dad so much i cry myself to sleep sometimes i mean do you really have to add on to it by treating me like im some kind of asshole when i have done nothing wrong i dont understand why im being treated like this really i dont know


im so ready to just up and move somewhere new right now im so sick of it here i dont wanna be in school anymore theres no fun left in it anymore im not enjoying myself i hare every second im there to be honest i just seriously want to go some where no one knows me and i can just start over fresh i want to be completly content with everythgin and everyone i want to be held close by eeryone i love and miss i want nothing more then to have people to stick by my side even if im wrong cant people just realize wow shes happy wow shes smiling and see that i jsut want everyone to get along and not be mad at me for the choices i make in my life its mine not your you make your choices i make mine and if your fo real gonna get mad at me for it you can go ahead and walk out i dont need you


ive got more for me now then i ever had

i found this to day

When you reach into a box of Lucky Charms, you know there's a prize in the Bottom. When you miss the King of the World scene in Titanic, you can rewind it. You can fast forward through when Simba's dad dies in the Lion King. But in life, if you miss something, you miss it. You can't go back. Sometimes you take all the right chances, say all the right things, and you still end up right back where you started. Happiness is not free, even though everyone says it is. Really, think about it. Something bad has to happen for you to realize how much you appreciate what you have now, to truly be happy. You won't know what the sunshine feels like unless you've been in the dark for a while. The people you love the most are the ones that end up hurting you the most. Life bites, and there are no guarantees, but somehow it always ends up giving you this great feeling when everything's said and done.


thats life guess ill have to live without you ill be okay i lived without you before and its okay just the same i jsut liked you here by myside cause you always believed in me

whish things didnt change
your always my best friend in my heart
i miss you more and more each day








so im begining to think i need to call my brother and talk about life i need his updates hes been kinda distent lately im not liking it i hope he never cahnges his ways if he goes back on what he says i dont know what ill do i miss him so much i just wish hed come home already i need him here i need to be kept sane im falling apart and no one realizes it but me and i dont knwo what to do anymore i wish hed be here to listen and think with me on what to do and take the time to figure out whats going on in this brain of mine hes the only one who understnad s it i dont even get it its sad actually

what am i going to do with myself
:(

thats all i can say im going to go sleep the rest of my life away
later